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Wedding and Funeral


Went to a wedding and a funeral this weekend with Mary. Sacramento, Santa Rosa, then home– a whirlwind trip through weekend bay area traffic. The traffic was horrible – life changing horrible, but not unusual.

As with most things, it’s a balance of an the unnamed terror and an easy chair in a padded room that rocks. 

The wedding was delightful, part of an interconnected strong woman’s club that marries off their daughters to provably weaker men. And so, the cycle continues, but the company was nice and I’m too old to wonder at the process anymore.

The funeral was for another interconnected strong woman, who, by hinkey or dinky, was a scary woman that I used to work with as a nurse. She would have been surprised that I outlived her, much as Charles the cat was. Please pay attention out there – this is how life works.

(To be fair, she didn’t put up with shit and I liked to throw handfuls of it around as if I were Christ standing on the back of a broken piñata heaving candy cigarettes to the unwashed.)

At the Catholic church, I came to a couple of decisions about services to be requested upon my death.

I don’t mind the church thing, but the mass has to be in Latin. I love the rituals of Catholicism, but almost every English word they say during mass make me angry. The whole thing is stupid and I can no longer support it or encourage others to listen to it –  It's not a choice if it's just wrong. I’m too old, and it’s too criminally stupid to even pretend that it's reasonable anymore.

Again, these are my wishes – do whatever you want, even if I'm dead I probably won’t self-combust if you don't. Really, there is nothing wrong with taking comfort where you find it and, as a Baptist preacher once said to me, “What’s wrong with a crutch if you need it?” I find religion suffocating and rigidly stupid, but maybe you don’t. Religion is like smoking to me -- get it?

As an aside, I used to think the United States offered, ‘freedom from religion,’ but realized later in life, to my horror, that it only said, ‘freedom OF religion.”

Pick one because, apparently, the shame of unbelief is what’s in the real take home doggy bag.

(In Akron, the Holy Ghost Ukrainian Catholic Church has a weekly Latin Mass. There are probably others as well.)

Really, any language will work if you keep in mind that the more incomprehensible the better. God works through the rituals of faith – science, truth and words only fuck it up.

At my funeral I want stories, only stories. I want people to tell stories about me that make them laugh or whatever, and then I want to go away.







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