Bird Watching - 2008-06-28 17:03
Bird watching has come of age according to England’s Guardian newspaper. Evidently the same skills and tools that a bird watcher uses to spend an idle weekend of watching birds translate into a security risk in the United States.
What’s the connection and why the hell would people stare at birds anyway?
Don’t know, but here is a theory.
Birder.com notes a few things that a bird watcher needs to get started. They need a guide (maps and stuff,) and expensive binoculars, noting, “Newcomers with a cheap binocular see a fuzzy ball of feathers and don't have a clue which bird it is.”
These are the very same items a terrorist would need to scope out a military installation or government building.
And have you ever thought of just what uses those fancy cameras birders use to capture their images could also be a front for? As we all well know, from official government sources, terrorists take pictures of their targets before they blow them up—and for that they use fancy cameras—just like bird watchers. They blow up their pictures -- it's a pattern that they all fall under -- I repeat, a pattern.
The Guardian notes that birder watcher’s frequent areas that “are sometimes close to military bases, dams and sewage plants.” They note that the US government is now requiring picture I.D.’s and permits for bird watchers at several public areas on the East Coast. It also notes that several public areas have been closed to bird watching entirely.
The fact is people leave their comfortable homes to walk in the wilds for no other reason than to see and photograph birds. The fact that their trips may soon start to resemble an airport security line make this hobby a little less fun.
Or, maybe a little more fun; it’s hard to get good feel as to where the fun is in the first place with this bird watching stuff.
"When I look over my shoulder... what do you think I see? another person looking over their shoulder at me."
And a fucking bird laughing from a lipless beak.