Skip to main content

Bird Watching

Bird Watching - 2008-06-28 17:03





Bird watching has come of age according to England’s Guardian newspaper. Evidently the same skills and tools that a bird watcher uses to spend an idle weekend of watching birds translate into a security risk in the United States.



            What’s the connection and why the hell would people stare at birds anyway?



            Don’t know, but here is a theory.



            Birder.com notes a few things that a bird watcher needs to get started. They need a guide (maps and stuff,) and expensive binoculars, noting, “Newcomers with a cheap binocular see a fuzzy ball of feathers and don't have a clue which bird it is.”



            These are the very same items a terrorist would need to scope out a military installation or government building.


            And have you ever thought of just what uses those fancy cameras birders use to capture their images could also be a front for? As we all well know, from official government sources, terrorists take pictures of their targets before they blow them up—and for that they use fancy cameras—just like bird watchers. They blow up their pictures -- it's a pattern that they all fall under -- I repeat, a pattern.
            The Guardian notes that birder watcher’s frequent areas that “are sometimes close to military bases, dams and sewage plants.” They note that the US government is now requiring picture I.D.’s and permits for bird watchers at several public areas on the East Coast. It also notes that several public areas have been closed to bird watching entirely.



         The fact is people leave their comfortable homes to walk in the wilds for no other reason than to see and photograph birds. The fact that their trips may soon start to resemble an airport security line make this hobby a little less fun.



         Or, maybe a little more fun; it’s hard to get good feel as to where the fun is in the first place with this bird watching stuff.


"When I look over my shoulder... what do you think I see? another person looking over their shoulder at me."


And a fucking bird laughing from a lipless beak.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Explain nothing, except your self

Explain nothing, except your self. I feel like the last of a tribe struggling to keep my identity a secret from the mob, one step ahead at best, reduced to hiding in bushes from the monsters waiting to snag and devour me. Sort of a delicacy and a poison – a non-specific drug that exudes memes instead of hormones and physical highs – subconscious, primitive analog get-off-ness apparently responsible for some weird competitive advantage consolidating over geological time out of our mixed genus ancestors, or maybe Texans. At the same time, I feel like spasmed dots from gods own printer cartridge ejaculated onto the canvas of a great emptiness, the thought of which is expressed in the three-dimensional representation of the position I’m braced into while doing the splatting -- all hologram like but only juicier and used -- like an in and out burger wrapper chewed on by a trashcan opossum. Or better, a goat in a pickup heading for a quinceanera debating Schrödinger with the

Free Willy

“…Some say it's just a part of it We've got to fulfill the book.” B. Marley Before I completely run away from the point, the subject of this essay is free will, or, more accurately, the illusion of free will. It will be interesting to see if free will even comes up laterally over the next few hundred words now that I’ve set it up as a specific goal.  The imp of the perverse makes it a sure thing that I won’t – but that surety might also double back and force  me to stay on point. There are no dogs to pick  in this fight and it’s not a fight,  and if I’m right, none of this is anything but documentation for a litigious god that will never see it. Like quantum mechanics, life is about either time or place, never both, and how we choose to pretty up our choices is neither the point, or even a choice – it’s after the fact punctuation we use to justify and make sense of our ontological messiness.  (Science has proven that we decide things with our body before the brain