The Poet Test

How to become a poet

Answer these questions:

1. What are the four standard feet in an English prosody?
2. What is an implied metaphor? Give two examples, don't be specific.
3. What is the best rhyme for orange? (Hint – it’s not door hinge.)
4. Why was Robert Frost so grouchy?
5. What is the best time of day to rummage through Arby’s for old sandwiches?
6. What kind of line is it when you, and this must be exact; combine a dactyl and a trochee – in that order?
7. Why is an English sonnet easier to write for a white person than an Italian sonnet?
8. Why did your mother dress you up as a girl until you were in grade school, and then, as a boy?
9. How long does it take, on average, for people to wean themselves off Paxil without crying?
10. In what way is the word scuttle not like a crab?

That’s almost it!

Please send your correct answers to me, as well as three examples of your best work, (along with a check or money order for twenty dollars (American) for my administrative costs.)

Congratulations!

(After your check clears, you will receive a license to practice Poetry that is valid in all States, and most Countries.)