How to become a poet
Answer these questions:
- What are the four standard feet in an English prosody?
- What is an implied metaphor? Give two examples, don't be specific.
- What is the best rhyme for orange? (Hint – it’s not door hinge.)
- Why was Robert Frost so grouchy?
- What is the best time of day to rummage through Arby’s for old sandwiches?
- What kind of line is it when you, and this must be exact; combine a dactyl and a trochee – in that order?
- Why is an English sonnet easier to write for a white person than an Italian sonnet?
- Why did your mother dress you up as a girl until you were in grade school, and then, as a boy?
- How long does it take, on average, for people to wean themselves off Paxil without crying?
- In what way is the word scuttle not like a crab?
That’s almost it!
Please send your correct answers to me, as well as three examples of your best work, (along with a check or money order for twenty dollars (American) for my administrative costs.)
(After your check clears, you will receive a license to practice Poetry that is valid in all States, and most Countries.)